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I Grew Up Catholic… But I Started Questioning Everything

I Grew Up Catholic… But I Started Questioning Everything

Question from Joe App:

I grew up around the Catholic Church and honestly I’ve got nothing but good memories. I respect it, I love the structure of Mass, and I’ve always believed in Jesus. That part has never changed for me. But as I got older I started having questions I can’t just ignore. It started to feel like things drifted away from just faith in Jesus and turned into a lot of man-made rules layered on top. Like the idea that if you’re not Catholic you’re going to hell… I just can’t wrap my head around a loving God condemning that many people over denomination. Same with things like evolution or how certain teachings seem to change over time. If something was once considered a sin and now it’s viewed differently, what does that say about the certainty of those rules? And what about gay people… are they really all condemned? That never sat right with me either. Then there’s confession. I understand the idea of confessing sins, but I struggle with the idea that people are telling deeply personal things to another man who lives in the same community and then are just supposed to go back to normal, seeing each other around town and acting like nothing was shared. That part has always felt a little uncomfortable to me. I’m not attacking the Church at all… I’m just trying to understand where faith in Jesus ends and where human tradition begins. Those are real questions I’ve carried for a long time.  

Answer:

I appreciate you being honest about this. These are real questions, and a lot of people carry them quietly. You’re not off base for thinking through this stuff.

Let me start with the biggest one. The idea that if you’re not Catholic you’re going to hell is not what the Church actually teaches. The Church does believe it holds the fullness of truth, but it also teaches that people who are not Catholic can still be saved. God judges the heart, not just the label someone carries. If someone is sincerely seeking truth and living according to what they know is right, God sees that. This isn’t about drawing a line and saying everyone on the outside is condemned.

On the question of things feeling man made, that’s fair to wrestle with. But not everything that develops is a change in truth. The Church sees it more like a deepening of understanding. The core doesn’t change. Jesus Christ, His death, His resurrection, salvation through Him. That stays the same. What develops is how we understand, explain, and apply those truths over time. It’s the difference between changing something and seeing it more clearly.

And when it comes to science, the Catholic Church is not anti science at all. It actually has a long history of supporting scientific study. The Vatican even has its own observatory and scientific institutions. The Church does not reject evolution outright. It allows for the possibility that the human body developed over time, while still holding that the soul comes directly from God. So it’s not science versus faith. They can work together.

At the same time, archaeology continues to uncover things that line up with Scripture. Ancient cities, historical figures, and cultural details described in the Bible are being confirmed more and more. That doesn’t replace faith, but it shows that the Bible is grounded in real history, not just stories.

The question about moral teachings changing is a little different. The Church would say truth itself does not change, but how it is communicated or applied can. Sometimes people misunderstand that and think the rule changed, when really the Church is clarifying or correcting how it was being lived or taught.

The question about homosexuality is one that people struggle with, and I get why. The Church does not teach that people who are gay are condemned. It teaches that every person has dignity and is loved by God. At the same time, it makes a distinction between a person and actions. That’s where people get hung up. You can agree or disagree, but the Church’s position is not about hating people. It’s about what it believes leads to human flourishing according to God’s design.

Confession is probably the most misunderstood. It can feel uncomfortable, no doubt about it. But the priest is not there as just another guy from the neighborhood. He’s acting in the person of Christ. And there is something important here that a lot of people miss. You’re not just thinking your sins in your head. You’re saying them out loud, taking ownership, and hearing forgiveness spoken back to you. That changes people. Also, priests are bound by absolute confidentiality. They cannot repeat what they hear under any circumstance. That’s taken very seriously.

onenationfaith_165gyo

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3 responses to “I Grew Up Catholic… But I Started Questioning Everything”

  1. Joe App Avatar
    Joe App

    I hear what you’re saying, and I respect the way you explained most of it. Maybe I’m wrong, but growing up in a Roman Catholic household in the 70s, this feels different from what we were taught back then. I don’t remember ever hearing that people outside the Catholic Church could still share in God’s grace in heaven. It always felt much more strict, like there was a clear line. Same thing with how homosexuality was viewed. If a gay couple walked into church back then, it would not have gone well, and the message was pretty direct that they were living in sin and headed in the wrong direction. Now it sounds more like the focus is on a person’s heart and their relationship with God, and honestly, I agree with that. I actually like that perspective better. But at the same time, we have to be real and acknowledge that it feels like something shifted over time, and that raises a harder question for me. If generations of people were taught that acting on those feelings meant they were going to hell, what does that mean for all the people who lived with that belief for hundreds of years?

    When it comes to confession, I do understand the purpose behind it. I get the idea of speaking your sins out loud, taking responsibility, and hearing forgiveness. There is something powerful in that. But I’ll be honest, this is one area I still struggle with. It’s not about disrespecting the role of the priest, it’s more about the reality of it being someone from your own community. You’re sharing very personal things with a person you might see at the grocery store or around town the next day, and that can feel uncomfortable. Especially in today’s world, where there has been a lot of public scrutiny around the Catholic Church, it makes me wonder if there could be a better way to handle that part of it. Something that creates a stronger sense of separation or anonymity, not just something as simple as being behind a screen. I’m not saying the system is wrong, I’m just saying from my perspective, it’s something that would make it easier for people to fully embrace it without hesitation.

    At the end of the day, I’m not trying to challenge the Church or tear anything down. I still believe in Jesus, and I still respect the Catholic Church and everything it represents. I’m just trying to work through where faith in Christ stands on its own, and where tradition and structure come into play. These are questions I’ve carried for a long time, and I’m asking them because I want to understand

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    1. onenationfaith_165gyo Avatar
      onenationfaith_165gyo

      Joe, I think what you’re picking up on is real, and a lot of people from that generation feel the same way.

      The way the faith was presented in the 50s through the 90s often came across much more rigid and black and white. There was a stronger emphasis on rules, and sometimes less emphasis on mercy and personal responsibility. For a lot of people, it felt like a clear line you either stayed inside of or you were out.

      But that doesn’t necessarily mean the teaching itself changed. It often means the way it was explained or lived out wasn’t always balanced.

      The Church has always taught that salvation comes through Christ and that it holds the fullness of truth. But it has also long taught that God’s grace is not limited to visible membership alone. That part has been emphasized more clearly in recent decades, especially by leaders like Pope Francis, who have focused more on the mercy of God and the dignity of the person.

      So in many cases, what feels like a shift is really a correction in emphasis, not a change in truth.

      You’re also right about how people were treated in the past. There were times where people experienced more judgment than welcome. That wasn’t always a reflection of what the Church is meant to be, but it’s part of the reality of how things were lived. And it’s fair to acknowledge that.

      As for your question about past generations, God doesn’t judge people based on perfect theological understanding. He judges based on what a person knew, how they responded, and the condition of their heart. No one is condemned for trying to follow God honestly with the understanding they had.

      On confession, I still get why that part feels uncomfortable. But that discomfort is also part of what makes it real. You’re bringing something out of the dark and into the light. And even though the priest is someone from the community, the seal of confession is absolute. It’s taken so seriously that a priest would rather face prison or worse than break it.

      At the same time, you’re not locked into one setting. You can go behind a screen, or even go to a different parish entirely. A lot of people do that for the exact reason you mentioned.

      And this isn’t just something the Church came up with later. After the Resurrection, Jesus actually gave His apostles the authority to forgive sins. In John 20:23 He says, “Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.” So when a priest hears confession, it’s not just a man listening. It’s Christ working through that authority that was given from the beginning.

      At the end of the day, I think your question about where faith in Christ ends and structure begins is the right one. The Church would say those two aren’t separate. The structure exists to protect and pass on the faith, not replace it.

      And the fact that you’re still asking these questions says a lot. It means you’re not walking away from it. You’re trying to understand it.

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  2. Joe App Avatar
    Joe App

    Thank you

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